Urban Outfitters Promotes New "Vintage" Spoiled Food
February 7, 2010
In fashion news, Urban Outfitters has decided to come out with a new line featuring vintage-looking food—which is actually just dangerously spoiled. Products like cheese, milk, meat, and other goods have be specially left out to look and taste like food from the 1970’s and 1980’s“People like stuff that looks authentically old, so why not extend the trend into food?” said Urban executive, Terry Bathner. “You have to go into the mind of a person who feels like old looking jeans, shirts, and other accessories that everyone has is cool and makes you look like a character in Juno. Sure, our products could just be purchased at Salvation Army or other thrift stores for an eighth of the price, but then people wouldn’t be adhering to the stupidity of our store’s outlook.”
While some Urban executives were worried that people would just purchase fresh food from super markets, those executives were reminded offering lower quality goods for ten times the price has always worked for them.




















