- Articles
- Abusive Jesus Strikes Again!!
- Click me and see
- Gadhafi Under Investigation After Using Non-SAG Actor As "Son" Stand-In
- Republicans Claim President Obama's Childhood Library Card is Fake
- Boston Red Sox Just Realized It's Not Spring Training
- Pitching-Deprived Yankees Admit to Scouting Rock-Throwing Egyptian Protesters
- Seemingly Offensive Sculpture Doesn't Nearly Meet Modern Sacrilegious Art Standards
- Yankees To Use Sack Filled With $24 Million As 4th Starter
- Pirates To Sign Some Really Fucking Terrible Player
- Yankees Leaning More Towards Mafia Hit Than Giving Derek Jeter His Asking Price
- College Students Honestly Confused About How to Get Completely Shit-Faced Without Four Loko
- Recently Injured NFL Player Endures Pretty Wimpy Paralysis
- Mitch McConnell Confident His "Slutty Senate Minority Leader" Halloween Outfit Will Not Deter Voters
- New York Mets to Hire An Old Shoe As Their Manager
- Local Man to Pretend He Knew All About Apparent Legendary Celebrity Who Just Died
- Local Man Still Remembers You Owe Him $10
- New FlashForward DVD Set Comes with Blackout Feature So Viewers Won't Remember How Terrible Series Was
- Ferrari Recalls Popular "Actually On Fire!" Model
- Americans Outraged About New "Ground Zero Halal Cart"
- "That Guy" Actually Wanted to Hear "Freebird" At Concert
- "Obesity Awareness" Bake Sale Results in Ironic Education
- New Book Reveals "Horrifying and Brutal" Practice Behind Organically Grown Vegetables
- Removed Laugh Track Version of "The Rush Limbaugh Show" Identifies Unseen, Hate-Filled Side to Program
- Amar'e Stoudemire Agrees to Deal to Ruin His Career
- Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Instituting Controversial "Grenade-Launching Cross Bows" Clause in Second Amendment
- Public Doesn't Seem to Care About Exxon Mobil's Harboring of Human Organs
- New Medical Study Shows That Women Who Drink At Least 2 Glasses of Wine Per Day Are Probably Drunk
- New "Motion-Sensor" Video Game Systems Still Haven't Fixed Glitch Which Prevents Gamers from Going Outdoors
- An Obituary -- Hubert T. Wrinklesworth
- New Sabermetric Statistic Identifies Clear Link Between the Number of Friends a Fantasy Baseball Owner Has to How Often They Use a Sabermetric Statistic in Normal Conversation
- Television Show Hoping to be Next Unappreciated, Short-Lived Cult Hit
- Jason Donald's Questionable Hit Breaks-Up Umpire Jim Joyce's Perfect Game
- Twyla Tharp Creates New "Gettin' Crunk" Broadway Show, Inspired by Lil Jon's Music
- Latest Escalated Israeli/Palestinian Drama At Least Creates Vehicle for Seldom-Used Word "Flotilla"
- Facebook to Launch New Mandatory Social Security Number Section on Profile
- Latest Oil Spill Labeled as "Embarrassingly Amateur"
- Democrats Fearful Kagan’s Years as a Cowboys Cheerleader Might Not Uphold at Senate Confirmation Hearing
- LeBron James Still Unsure of Off-Season Decision, Despite Wearing a New York Knicks Jersey During Game 5
- Local Fantasy Owner on Suicide Watch After Mistakenly Leaving Dallas Braden on Bench
- Americans Acknowledge Mexico's 1862 Victory at the Battle of Puebla by Getting Completely Shitfaced
- Times Square Bomber Identified As Native New Yorker Looking to Clear Out Some Fucking Walking Space
- Sandra Bullock Done With Reality Stars -- Seen in Public With Fantasy Star, Cookie Monster
- "Glee" to Create Spin-Off from Terrible Glee-Audition Footage
- New Gap Shorts to Expose 30% More Pasty, White Man Upper Thigh
- Passive Aggressive Dictator Leaves Indirect, Childish Messages in Middle of Village Instead of Confronting Soon-to-Be Murdered People About His Feelings
- New York Jets Hire Charles Manson to Be Their Special Teams Coach
- New York Mets Looking Forward to Smothering Yet Another Prospect
- Tyler Perry's New Project, "Blank Screen," Thought to Be His Best, Most Compelling Film Yet
- Luke Wilson to Star in Commercial Illustrating Why AT&T Is the Preferred Service For Talking to Your Agent About How Much Your Acting Career Has Tanked
- Really Weird Guy at Work Receives New-Found Respect for Picking Butler to Win NCAA Tournament
- California Close to Legalizing 3 AM Consumption of Cheetos While Watching "The Wizard of Oz" With Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" Dubbed Over
- Despite Public Outcry, University of Montana-Bigfork Refuses to Remove "Moshe the Thieving Hook Nose" as School's Mascot
- Intricate Button-Combination in Street Fighter Unlocks Code That Resets the 7 Hours Spent Figuring It Out
- Osama Bin-Laden Changes Facebook Name to Hide Online Presence
- Catholic Church in Ireland Denounced For Not Touching Little Boys
- Texas Rangers Manager Ron Washington Admits to Not Using Enough Cocaine in 2009
- New Interactive Pixelated iPhone Game Enables Gamers to Create Own Interactive Pixelated iPhone Game
- U.S. to Institute “Take Your Grown, Estranged Off-Spring to Work Day”
- President Ahmadinejad: “7/11 Isn’t Real”
- Raft from Dominican Republic Exciting Baseball Scouts
- America to Finally Return to Not Liking Hockey
- Local Man Wonders Whether “End World Hunger” Facebook Group Will Clutter Profile Page
- Apple Introduces Revolutionary Pad of Paper
- Winter Olympics to Feature More Unquestionably Lethal Events in 2014
- President Obama to Address Staggering 68.5% Unemployment Rate Among People Named "John"
- Couples Line-Up for Star-Studded Romantic Comedy “President’s Day”
- Record 106 Million Viewers Tune Into Super Bowl Commercials
- Urban Outfitters Promotes New "Vintage" Spoiled Food
- General Motors Creates Unemployment Program to Help Employees Easily Assimilate Into New Terrible, Impoverished Lives
- Sarah Palin Disinvites Rahm Emanuel From Her Mafia Wars on Facebook
- That Guy and That Other Guy Neck-in-Neck on PGA Leaderboard
- NASA's Hubble Space Telescope Peers Back 13.2 Billion Years, and Spots John McCain
- Scott Boras Trying to Sell “Bag of Shit” as “Potential .285 BA, 20 HR Hitter”
- David Plouffe Suggests Beer Koozies As Solution for Winning Back Supporters
- Local Man Shaving Regrets Having Hitler Mustache for 5 Minutes
- Country of Haiti Miraculously Discovered After Being Under Pile of Rubble for Over a Week
- Vince Carter, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James to Face-Off in All-Star Drunk Contest
- Apple Unveils New Unbelievable Computer Which Will Make Users Even Bigger Assholes
- Donald Trump Quickly Erects Several Offensively Tacky-Looking Skyscrapers in the Middle of Haiti
- Test Results Reveal Lou Piniella Was on Steroids During 116-Win 2001 Seattle Mariners
- Democrats Dismiss Republican Michael Steele's Comments as "Typical Negro Dialect"
- EA's Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2010 to Feature New Off-the-Course Sex Mode
- Cheney Claims President Obama's New Haircut Sign of "Letting Terrorists Win"
- Nigerian Bomber’s New Years Resolution is to Successfully Bomb U.S.
- New Kevin Costner Netflix Spin Off Released to Public
- Fans to Use Lions Players in Giant Bonfire to Keep Warm
- New "Cayenne Pepper" KY Jelly Adds Excruciating Hotness to Bedroom
- Mets, Angels, Cubs, and Rays Dispose of Unwanted Players in Salary Dumpster
- James Cameron Reveals Even More Long-Time, Secret Project Involving Planet of Stickfigures
- General Motors to Continue Production of Top-Selling Stripped, Junkyard Brand Cars
- Woman Gives Birth to $80,000 in College Tuition, Future Divorce, and Eventual Resentful Loneliness
- Lieberman to Filibuster with GOP if Democrats Propose Subway or Panda Express for Senate Lunch
- Trojan to Now Sponsor Tiger Woods
- Tiger Woods Vows to Take Short Hiatus from Marital Affairs
- Therapists Claim, “Ugly Heterosexuals Have a Tendency to Realize Homosexuality Later in Life”
- “Team Jacob” & “Team Edward” at the Pediatric Center for Cancer Mysteriously Pinned Against Each Other by Groupie Teenage Girls
- MLB Announces Secondary World Series for Other, Non-Yankees Teams
- New iPhone Application Determines Whether Tiger Woods Has Slept With Your Wife or Daughter
- Vijay Singh Kills Three People in Attempt to Keep Up With Tiger Woods
- Manager of Mildly Popular Band Pushing for Suicide or Lethal Accident to Up Record Sales
- Publishers Clearing House Presents Oversize $7 Check to Woman Who Spotted Them Lunch
- PGA Uses Mysterious Black Man in New, Poorly Executed Photoshopped Tiger Woods Photos
- Tiger Woods Admits to Affair With Afghanistan
- Allen Iverson: “I’m Still the Same Asshole I’ve Always Been”
- New Film About Down-and-Out Middle-Aged Vampire Doesn’t Succeed at Box Office
- Induction of Drug Use-Free Band into Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame Unlikely
- Tiger Woods Disappointed Wife Didn't Use Four Iron
- New York Mets to Wear Retro 1970's Disco Outfits for Home Games in 2010
- Oldest Trick Book Found, All Oldest Tricks in the Book Revealed
- Wes Anderson to Write/Direct New Installment of Soul Plane
- Stephen A. Smith Newest Pundit of Right-Wing Political Show on Fox
- Used Major League Bat Signs Deal With Japan
- Oprah Winfrey Simultaneously Announces the End of the “Oprah Winfrey Show” and the World
- Lou Dobbs to Join Telemundo
- Sylvester Stallone to Reprise Role as Stupid, Frickin' Moron
- Dr. Kevorkian Hired as Mets New Physical Trainer
- Parents Hopeful that 15 Missing Children Will Turn Up Alive
- Plans to See Movie Contingent on Whether Mark Ruffalo Has Supporting Role
- Alabama-Style Formatting Provides New Completely Unintelligible Competition for MLA, AP, and Chicago
- Staples to Face Harsh Competition from Recently Opened Chain of “Three-Hole Punch” Office Supply Stores
- Cleveland Browns Name "Heaping Pile of Shit" As Their New Starting QB
- Quiznos Unleashes New "Morning After" Sub
- Shots at Fort Hood Not for H1N1
- New Charity to Raise Awareness About Virus-Inflicted Dell Computers
- High School Equipment Manager Irked About Having to Transport Recently Murdered Player’s Jersey and Helmet to Every Away Game
- iPhone Application Enables Parents to Keep Track of Who’s Sleeping With Their Slutty Daughter
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers Head Coach: “You Can’t Just Give One Player All the Credit for Losing, It’s a Team Effort”
- Sarah Palin’s Brand New Tell-All Book to Document Her Soon-to-Be Released Tell-All Book
- New Dating Web Site Guarantees Regrettable Situation
- Neurotic Asian Comedy Icon Marries Adopted American Daughter
- Recent Paris Hilton Sex Tape Gets Positive Reviews on IMDb.com
- New How-To Book Series, "Fore F*ckin' Retards," Released
- Shortage of H1N1 Shots Could Create Jobs By Killing Off Employed Workers
- BREAKING NEWS: Northwest Airlines Co-Pilots Were Playing "Intense Game of Nintendo Wii Mario Tennis"
- Spike Jonze to Adapt 1973 Zenith Television Instruction Manual into Feature Film
- New Black Barbie Has Trouble Finding Father Figure for Her Children
- Afghan Presidential Election Outcome Won’t Be Known Until the Very Last Fake Vote is Cast
- Recent Devastating Computer Virus Just Really Misunderstood
- New Social Network Intentionally Designed to Confuse Younger Generations
- Obama Attempts Escape in Presidential Helium Balloon
- Real Estate Crisis Not Affecting Sales of Eerie, Haunted Houses
- Republican Senator Olympia Snowe Controversially Decides to Deprive Country of Poor Health Care
- The Bush Administration Was Sort of Like that Really Traumatic Ex-Girlfriend You Don't Want to Be Reminded About
- I Really Think I Can Win the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize
- Disappointingly Low Death Toll in Recent School Shooting
- Has Blogging Replaced Masturbating As the Internet's Pastime?
- Tigers Closer Fernando Rodney Looking Forward to Off-Season Full of Cool Suicide Hypothetical's
- Tyler Perry Abused by Older Woman That Looks Exactly Like Him
- Greenspan to Country: “Economy Will Grow 3% after it Drops 15%”
- Chicago Natives Infuriated that 2016 Olympics Will Not Ruin Their City
- China Celebrates 60 Years of Being Brainwashed
- "The Fruit Stand Guy Has a Nicer Cell Phone Than I Do" - A Comedic Reflection of the Crazy State of Technology
- Starbucks to Release “Via” Instant Coffee – A Slightly Less-But-Still-Way-Over-Priced and Shittier Coffee
- Yom Kippur - a Jewish Day of Repent or a Christmas for Anorexics?
- On Iranian Nuclear Weapons - from the Perspective of an Iranian Nuclear Weapon
- Local Guy Sort of Looks Like That Awesome Celebrity, But Just Not Nearly As Famous or Good-Looking
- Recent Gmail "Crash" Forces Spammers to Awkwardly Approach Potential Customers in Person
- Usage of Cute Baby Voice Accidentally Extends into Workplace
- Local Man Chuckles-to-Self When “Kordell Stewart” Pops into Head
- Former Third-World Dictator Not “Murderously Chauvinistic Enough” to Appear in Newest Edition of History Textbook
- Local AIM Conversation Blown Out-of-Proportion By Mistaken Usage of Caps Lock
- Marc Jacobs First to Use "Organically-Raised" Super Models
- Dick Cheney's Spine Surgery to Install Much-Needed Spine in Formerly Spineless Body
- 10 Ways to Never Come Close to Getting a Body Like This One No Matter How Hard You Try
- Patrick Swayze Will Respond to Each Fan's Condolences Through Whoopi Goldberg's Twitter
- Kanye West's Full-Length Video Music Awards (VMA) Speech Revealed
- Unemployed Terrorists Desperate for Any Terrorist-Related Work
- America Commemorates 9/11 By Giving Middle-Easterners Really Dirty Looks
- Melanie Oudin Miraculously Defeats Cancer, Spousal Abuse, and World Hunger With Well-Placed Backhand
- A Recent Email from a Person in Need
- Andy Roddick Successfully Loses Another Big Match
- Ineffective Recall Recalled
- The Bush Administration - a Casablanca Ending
- DJ AM Autopsy Reveals Terrible Taste in Music
- Christian Birthright to Send Thousands of American-Born Christians to a Small Town in Minnesota to Learn About Boring Heritage
- Oliver Perez Opts for Surgery to Repair "Lack of Talent"
- Local Woman Playing Guitar Not Necessarily a Lesbian
- New Study Shows that Children Who Play Educational Video Games Wrongly Believe “Education Leads to Success”
- Sony Introduces Camera Specifically for Drunken Party Photos
- New York Mets Placed on Waivers
- Cleveland Cavaliers Install Brick Wall to Replace Ben Wallace's Defense
- Recently Dead Politician Has Never Been So Popular
- Edward "Ted" Kennedy Dies in an Unexpectedly Normal, Un-Kennedy-Like Fashion
- Boston Red Sox Acquire Left-Handed Arm
- Rehab Checks Into Melanie Griffith
- Recently Murdered Model's Body Parts Being Auctioned for "Spousal Abuse Awareness"
- "Pussy" Suicide Bomber Backs Out
- Racist Hurricane Specifically Targets Black Neighborhoods
- Local 24-Year-Old Already Has a 55-Year-Old’s Bitter Outlook of Real World
- Tribune Finalizes Sale of Over 41,000 Seated Cubs Fans to Ricketts Family
- Random “Traveling Pants” Not Nearly As Exciting or Significant As Pair in Film
- Revered Middle-School Couple Not Ready For Holding Hands in Public
- Economy-Stricken Characters Now Being Adapted in Pornography
- Local Black Man With Lupus Doesn't Have Nearly As Many Achievements As Seal
- Man Blames Semi-Functional Elevator For Life Frustrations
- Republican Party Posts "Looking for Inspirational African-American to Run For President in 2012" Ad on Craigslist
- Steven Mandlebaum Selected First Overall in the 2009 Professional Accountant Draft
- Local Man Almost Tempted to Give Obviously Sickly Homeless Man Some Change
- "Watching Carl Pavano Pitch" Deemed Responsible for Recent "Terrifying Spike" in Spousal Abuse
- "I Only Lost One Son Today," Says Exuberant Pakistani Woman
- "Women Should Feel Comfortable With Their Bodies," Says Man With Really Low Standards
- Academy Awards to Create New “Best Mediocre Vampire Film Starring Robert Pattinson” Award
- New Erectile Dysfunction Drug Aims at Maintaining Erections During Uncomfortable, Inappropriate “ED” Commercials
- Local Man's New Facebook Password "Way Too Obvious"
- Sharks Reportedly Very Excited for "Human Week"
- Paula Abdul Will Not Return to American Idol, Will Instead Focus on Taking Lots of Pain Killers
- Local Man Holds in Sneeze, Emotions About Parent's Tragic Death
- Germany Looking for New Social Disaster to Be Culturally Self-Conscious About
- Local Man No Longer Cares About Formerly Beloved, Two-Month Old iPod
- Mets GM Omar Minaya Wakes From Nap, Misses Trade Deadline
- Local Accountant Has Difficulty Calculating How Many Friends He Has
- Islamic Militants Provide Cotton T-Shirts to Help Ease Pain of Incoming Dictatorship
- "People Have Got to Stop Stereotyping Us," Says Klu Klux Klan Member
- Dead Celebrities - Both Recent & Past - That I'd Like to Kiss
- New “Middle-East Tennis Open” to Play on Sand Courts
- Circuit City to Sponsor Lance Armstrong With 1,500 “Major League III: Back to the Minors” DVDs
- “My Wife and I Learned Sign Language So We Can Violently Argue Without Words”
- Local Man Arrested, Sentenced 6 Months For Killing Two Birds With One Stone
- NASA Plans to Cut Jobs While Orbiting in Space
- Nationals 2B Anderson Hernandez Wins "Singles Derby" at All-Star Game
- President Bush’s “Top Secret Boys Only Blanket-Tent Club” Revealed
- Recently Kidnapped 12 Year-Old Girl Deemed "Too Ugly to Search For"
- "Daddy Has Been The Best Psychotic, Fake-White Father," Says 11 Year-Old Paris Jackson
- Police Assume That "Serial Killer is Probably Done Killing People"
- Eagles to Release "Eagles The Worst Fuckin' Hits Volume 1"
- Sarah Palin to Step Down As Governor, Will No Longer Shop At Lenscrafters
- President Obama to Nation: "A 90.5% Employment Rate is Sort of Like An A- In Employment"
- Nation Mourns Michael Jackson By Buying $10 Bootleg T-Shirts
- Arizona Diamondbacks Optioned to Triple-A
- Experts Project Between 2-13 More Celebrity Deaths Before Wednesday
- Michael Jackson Confirms His Death
- Bobby Flay Wins Unlikely Throwdown Against Top Brain Surgeon
- New York Yankees Trade Slumping Alex Rodriguez For ‘07 Version of Himself
- New York Mets Disabled List Currently in First Place in Disabled Eastern Division
- ABC to Green Light Alternative “Extreme Makeover: Home Destruction Edition”
- Local Man Retort: “I Don’t Care If He Has Cancer, He’s Still An Asshole”
- Billy Joel Separates From Katie Lee, Continues Long-Time Relationship With Cheap Jug Wine Carlo Rossi
- Harlem Gospel Choir Breakout in 65-Part Harmony of Boos at Mets/Yankees Game
- Politician Admits To Future Affair With Young Female Staffer
- New “Depressant” Pill Aimed at Miraculously Non-Depressed Middle-Agers
- Caucasian Basketball League (CBL) to Debut in 2011
- Local Couple Celebrates 60 Years of Regrettable Marriage
- Numerous Deaths, Cooties Outbreak in Bigfork Elementary
- Citizens Celebrate New Regime By Setting Country on Fire
- Displaced Pakistanis Forced to Stand on Line For Dave Matthews Concert Tickets
- Makers of “Vitamin Water” To Release New High-Protein “RawMeat Water”
- New Revolutionary Hair Product Aims At Increasing Male-Pattern Baldness
- New Dating Website Directed At Middle-School Students
- Local Freshman Masters “Drunk At Party Self-Photo Shot”
- MLB Celebrates Memorial Day By Symbolically Amputating Player’s Limbs
- Top 5 Websites That Should Exist But Don’t
- Gucci Unleashes New “JAP” Sunglasses Line
- Guerrilla Army Leader Gets Dying Wish, Passed Around in Mosh Pit at Black Sabbath Concert
- Craigslist to Now Closely Monitor The “Rape/Murder” Section of Website
- New York Knicks Starting Lineup to Consist Only of David Lee Next Season
- Chicago Cubs 2B Bobby Scales Only 2,992 Hits Shy of 3,000 Hits
- Blackbox Recovered from Plane Crash, Confirms the Plane Crashed
- Anti-Semitic Architect Claims That “Holocaust Museum Doesn’t Exist”
- Apple Unveils “iPreggers,” a New Pregnancy Application for the iPhone
- Professor Charged With Mass-Murder, Students Rejoice As Finals Pushed Back a Week
- Prospective Employee Deciding Between Dorky Jewish or Preppy Gentile Financial Firm
- Missing Woman Returns After 27 Years, No One Cares
- Gay Couple Rejoices, Makes History, As They Officially Sign Divorce Papers
- QB Mark Sanchez Caught Booing Himself At Draft After Jets’ Selection
- Top 5 Reasons To Get Swine Flu
- I Know My Biceps Are Big, But Are They Big Enough to Beat the F*** Out of Racism?
- Other Diseases Feel Neglected Since Outbreak of Swine Flu
- New Charity Organization Works Towards Maintaining Child Starvation
- Darfur to Hunger Strike Until Mia Farrow Makes a Good Movie
- Michael Richards (Kramer) Goes on Tirade Against the Republic of Niger
- Dane Cook Steals “Half-Brother/Manager Embezzlement” Scandal From Lesser-Known Comedian
- New Artificial Sweetener Guarantees Cancer
- NHL Playoffs Projected to Have Lower Ratings Than 4:30 AM Ginsu Knife Infomercial
- Ryan Theriot Benched By Cubs for Below-.400 Batting Average
- Creators of “Planet Earth” to Make Similar Style Show Depicting Male Puberty
- University of Montana-Bigfork to Incorporate “Drug Dealing” as Part of Business School Curriculum
- Zac Efron Admits Success Due to Eating Former Teenage-Stars
- Roofio – a Piece from the Perspective of a Roofie Pill
- Hot Librarian Fantasizes About Affair With Pimply Teenager
- New Mac User Debates Which Progressive Bumper Sticker to Buy for Laptop
- Jelly Belly to Introduce New “Vomit Hangover”-Flavored Jelly Bean
- “It’s Important to Touch Children’s Souls,” Says Neighborhood Sexual Molester
- CNN Anchor John King Refuses to Partake in Casual Fridays
- Roommate Finally Speaks Up – “Who’s Been Using My Body Wash?”
- New York Mets Spoil Surprise and Publically Announce Exact Date of Failure in 2009
- "I Feel Like We've Been Distant Ever Since 'That 70's Show' Went Off the Air"
- Vivid Entertainment Buys Distribution Rights to "Naked Seinfeld"
- Queen Elizabeth Attempts to Hire New Cleaning Woman
- Southern Man Has Worst April Fools Day as Job is Lost, Wife is Pregnant Again and Wants a Divorce, Son is Gay, and Parents Die
- President Obama Grants Local Man $137 Hand-Out to Fix-Up 1976 Ford Pinto
- Six Flags to Unleash New 9/11-Themed Water Slide
- Fantasy Owner Immediately Regrets Taking Troy Glaus in the 11th Round
- Starbucks to Introduce New “Banana & Shrimp Loaf”
- Bernie Madoff Might Be Sentenced Additional 3 Days for Jaywalking
- Local Strip Bar Turns “Green” to Appeal to Ecologically-Friendly Customers
- Archeologists Uncover Dinosaur Fossil Which Resembles Actor/Economist Ben Stein
- Electronic Arts (EA) to Release “The Sims – Survival in Darfur”
- Taliban’s Recent Twitter Update Poses a Truncated 140-Character Threat
- “I Have a Dream” Speech Exposed As an Insightful and Progressive Mad Libs
- Paramount Grants Nomadic African Tribe Multi-Million Dollar Deal In Hope of Next “Slumdog Millionaire”
- A Day in the Life of a Community College Student
- John Malacky, Cisco Truck Driver, Named the 2025 Replacement for “Late Night”
- “The Economy” Dropping 7,500 Points in the Past 17 Months Result of New Healthy Diet
- Our First Job Request!
- Local Cable Company to Offer More Blurry HD Channels
- Drunk-Girl Debates Switching to Verizon
- Self-Proclaimed “Music Expert” Had a Great Time at Open Mic Night
- A Retort - Professional Baseball Player to Inebriated Fan: ‘No, You Suck’
- Mel Gibson Blames Jews for the Death of Jesus, His Long-Time Gardener
- Bruce Springsteen Breaks Record, Has Been Awake for 324,127 Straight Hours
- The Latest Hurricane to Hit Florida, “Hurricane Dorlene,” Is Bitchy Middle-Aged Divorcee
- How Invested Are You in the Economy?
- Research-In-Motion (RIM) Introduces "Blackberry Rotary" to Appeal to Elderly Population
- New Homophobic Research Reveals “Gay People Will Become Extinct By May 2017”
- A Jewish Mad Libs
- Despite September 11th Attacks, Wine Connoisseurs Insist That “2001 Was A Good Year”
- Bush’s Bucket List
- A Look at Brett Favre’s New Tell-All Book “Off-Sides, Interceptions, and Forced Handjobs – If I Came Back…Here’s How I’d Do It”
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- Comics
- Haikus
- Randoms
- Visuals
- Sanskrit Tattoo
- Write for Facebook...Sort of...
- Contest to Hire Me!
- Impossible Job Requirements
- MLB.com Fail
- Seeking Writer for: "Animated Series to Cause Seizures"
- Great Facebook Security Code
- You'd Never Guess Who Uses FourSquare...
- Not to Be Confused With Ellen Degeneres...
- Botox for Booty
- An Actual Google Ad on My Site
- The Future of Homelessness
- The Newest Form of Payment for Health Care
- 2 Michael Ceras for the Price of 1
- Rosetta Stone - Moron Frat Guy
- Liberty Travel – Free Unlimited Stay in Haiti
- Shop Rite – $3 Off Human Cheese
- Eric Massa's Wikipedia Page
- Ikea – 50% Off: New Swedish Meatball Lamp (Deliciously Trendy)
- Free iPod Sock (With Purchase of More Than $85,000 Worth of Apple Products)
- Red Lobster – Limited Time Offer: 15 Lobsters for the Price of 1
- $25 Off At “Uncle Bill’s Pile ‘O Porn”
- Looking to Retire...At Age 23?
- "Energizer Duo software suffers backdoor Trojan bother"
- How Does Unemployment Affect You?
- MSG - The World's Most Famous Food Additive
- Beef With Elevator Guy
- "3 peice purlple leather couch owned by Darius Kasperitus"
- Role-Play on AIM
- Left My Boobs at Dave's
- The Real "Force Quit"
- Grabbing Your Attention
- Even Jesus Lost Followers
- Charles Manson - The Community Organizer
- Burning Down the House
- Little Over-the-Top About Alcohol
- Seal Seal
- An Internship At Its Finest
- Free Burrito Making Machine
- A Very Epic Novel
- Fubu Boutros-Ghali
- Two Interesting Jobs
- Write Book in Exchange for Starbucks Coffee
- Mets Tickets for An Old Coat
- Free Foam Sword
- Free Cod Liver Oil
- Free Maternity Lingerie
- Blunt British Newspaper Headlines (Part 2)
- Not Interested Acknowledging Others Sympathy
- Free, Obviously Stolen Hospital Bed
- What Dog?
- Seeking Book Deal...From a Jew
- A Reformed Racist
- Giving Away Beautiful Soul
- Needs a Fake ID
- Free Poop!
- A Friendly Urinal
- Bunch of Free Unmated Socks
- Drunk Gmail
- Free Couch...and Blow Job?
- Free Camel (No, Not Cigarettes)
- Underwear in a Vending Machine
- The Most Openly Gay Building
- Free Massage (For Women Only)
- Free Dan Brown Book
- Bootleg Rush Hour
- Eye Patches - For Kids!
- Stripper Pole for Sale
- Free Bag of Groceries, Anyone?
- The Easiest Job Ever
- Dumb Name for Wine
- Desperate to Jam, Dude
- Need a Little Adderall
- A Double Vagina-Title
- A Reaction to the New New York License Plate
- Expecting a Different Type of Black Entertainment
- Free Stick of Butter Costume
- Free Milk
- Sketchy Cactus Dealer
- The $700 Deal
- Selling Expired Vitamins
- A Weird Piggy Dream
- At-Home Drug Tests - Testing How F*cked Up You Are
- Someone is Excited About the New York Mayoral Race
- The Onion - America's Funniest Homeless Bed
- Free Funeral Anyone?
- A Shirtless Man in the NYC Train Station
- Anyone Want a Free Wooden Pig?
- A Lumber Store for Lesbians
- Free Rent...in a Haunted House
- Used Thongs for Sale (They're "Freshly Worn")
- Stop Smoking, But Just in Case...
- I Can Only Think of One Good Situation For that New Annoying "Reconnect" Suggestions Box on Facebook
- Best Name Ever for a Chicken Restaurant
- Blunt British Newspaper Headlines (Part 1)
- Guy Just Wants Some Long-Distance Baked Goods
- A Rim Job All-Around?
- Adult Film Casting Call
- Cancer, Divorced, and Pregnant - Lady Wants the Most Depressing Book Made
- Oliver Stone is the F*ckin' Man
- What is CNN Trying to Allude to?
- What is More Horrific, Michael Myers from Halloween or Mike Myers' Recent Array of Films?
- Who is Your Favorite Black President?
- What Kind of Camera Did You Lose at the Bar Last Night?
- What is Ruben Studdard Doing Right Now?
- If I Got One Hand In My Pocket, The Other One Has...
- How High Are You Right Now For 4/20?
- Where Would Jesus Hide His Easter Eggs?
- Can Local Homeless Person Stick An Entire Apple In His Mouth?
- Who Was Your Favorite Member of "Peter, Paul, and Mary?"
- Which Troubled Child-Actor Reminds You Most of Your Own Failures?
- What is Your Favorite Kind of Sexual Predator?
- What Conversations Do You Have With Old High-School Acquaintances?
- Which Kind of Luggage Do You Use?
- Who is the Sexiest Mass-Murderer of All-Time?
- What Number Am I Thinking Of Right Now?
- What Kind of Website Would You Like To See On the Web?
- How Do You Prepare For An Interview?
- What Did You Do On Spring Break?
- How Do You Pick Your Bracket For March Madness?
- Do You Agree With Pope Benedict XVI's Ban On Condoms In Africa?
- How Often Do You Brush Your Teeth?
- How Homeless Are You?
- How Has Madoff Affected Your Life?
- What Irritates You Most About Airplanes?
- How Will the Mexican Drug Wars Effect My Vacation?
- Does Love Exist?
- What Would You Do With a Million Dollars?
- What Are Your Biggest Fears?
- What is Your Morning Routine?
- What is Your Diet?
- How Do You Pose for Pictures?
- Do You Talk to Your Parents?
- Who's In Bed Next To Me?
- Where Is Your Cell Phone?
- Do You Invest?
- Who Am I At the Party?
- How Will I Die?
- Mr.
- Mr.
- Mr.
- Mr.
