In entertainment news, the recently released film “Fat Blood,” about an overweight, middle-aged vampire who is unemployed and going through a painful divorce, has so far been a huge box office disaster. Despite the general approval of all vampires-related entertainment in the past few years, the Steven Spielberg helmed/Steven Zaillian penned flick has been a complete failure in the eyes of the vampire fan base.

“It was just like too much of a story or something,” said 15 year-old girl, Paula Sanders. “The vampire wasn’t hot, and sort of looked like my dad on Halloween.”

“I was really excited to see the movie, but it was a major turn off,” said 17 year-old girl, Michelle Petterson. “The whole middle of the movie where he was trying to overcome his weight, career, and marital issues in addition to being a social outcast due to his vampire status totally wasn’t hot in any way.”

“The entire time I was waiting for a hot vampire or a ripped werewolf to pop out and give me goosebumps, but it never happened,” said a 55 year-old mother who wanted to stay anonymous. “I love the other vampires movies and shows because of all the hot teenagers and twenty-somethings, but this movie just reminded me of my own life, and that sucked.”

“Fat Blood” will be pulled from 50% of theaters by next week. Despite the box office beating, the film is still expected to take home a variety of Academy Awards.