In MLB news, the world of steroids in sports took yet another turn for the worse, as recent test results revealed that Lou Piniella was using illegal substances during his hugely successful managerial stint with the 116-win 2001 Seattle Mariners. The MLB is paying special attention to the new layer in steroid testing, as they feel that Piniella’s usage of steroids falsely inflated his managerial skills, helping the 2001 Mariners achieve the unbelievable feat of 116 wins—the single-season team win record.

“To be quite honest, it’s not all too surprising,” said lead testing scientist, Dan Michaels. “If you look at the 2000 Seattle Mariners, they were a very good team, but it’s not as if they were a 116-wins caliber team [like the 2001 Mariners]. It’s obvious that in the off-season, Lou [Piniella] took a look around the league’s other top managers—such as Joe Torre, Bobby Cox, and Tony LaRussa—and was like, ‘I got to get some sort of advantage over these guys.’ And POW! Enter steroids. 116 wins later, the guy goes from mildly successful asshole manager to star-studded asshole manager.”

If the test results weren’t enough, some anonymous former employees of the 2001 Seattle Mariners have been vocal about their own experiences with the embattled manager.

“It’s not as if he just became a better manager overnight,” said a former Seattle Mariners coach who wished to remain nameless. “Let’s just say he had to find something outside of his own unnecessarily fiery attitude to add to his limited managerial repertoire—and that addition starts with ‘S’ and ends with ‘teroids.’”

Despite the negative comments from some former employees, players from the 2001 Seattle Mariners have come to the aid of their former manager, supporting his integrity, and trying to vouch for his unexplainably excellent coaching skills in 2001.

“Trust me, Lou Piniella acts like a huge asshole all by himself,” said former first baseman, John Olerud. “He doesn’t need any illegal substances to get kicked out of a game for arguing balls and strikes or making insensitive comments about a pitcher’s wife during a meeting on the mound. The guy does that all on his own merit. Heck, if you’re going to accuse him of being on steroids during the 2001 season, you might as well accuse and test all the players too. [But please don’t do that].”

While Lou Piniella has yet to confirm or deny the results of the drug test, he was recently seen throwing over a bag of balls, yelling directly in the face of a player, and spitting uncontrollably for literally no reason.