In golf news, after a very exciting few rounds, that guy and that other guy are neck-in-neck on the Farmers Insurance Open leaderboard. According to the ten people watching the now Tiger Woods-less PGA Tour, the talent group has certainly decreased, but has really just let anyone have a shot at winning something.

“It’s almost like watching 'A League of Their Own,’” said golf fan, Zack Turner. “You know they’re not the main event, and when Tiger comes back from sex rehab, these guys' dream of winning will all be over. But it’s nice for the time being.”

“I think the departure of Tiger Woods has been a blessing,” said golf fan, Dick Ripperd. “Unlike the past, where the security has been ridiculous at these types of events, fans are now allowed to do whatever they want. For instance, I now stand right behind a golfer as he’s lining up, and scream when he’s about to swing. It’s hilarious. I even mugged Vijay Singh the other day, and no one did anything!”

While the PGA has claimed, “Golf is as strong as it has ever been,” television numbers have reported that staring at a wall, cutting one's wrists, and even professional hockey are becoming more popular.