In sports news, Texas Rangers Manager Ron Washington, who coached the Rangers to 87 wins games last season, admitted today that he did not use enough cocaine in 2009 to help the Rangers reach the playoffs. The somber Washington was apologetic that he didn't give it his all -- in regards to cocaine use -- in the Ranger's last 25 games, as they only won ten games during his "lesser coked-out" part of the season.

"I apologize for the huge mistake I made not snorting enough cocaine to help these boys win," Washington said in a prepared statement at a news conference. "I'm not here to make excuses, but I do admit that as the season went on, the usual strain of 162 ball games really took a toll on me, and I just wasn't capable of keeping up with my prior cocaine-intake levels. I'm truly sorry for my careless, dangerous and, frankly, stupid lesser-coke behavior towards the end of last year. I hope the organization, players, fans, and my family will be able to find it in their hearts to forgive my drugless actions."

According to sources, the Rangers are encouraging Washington to take the rest of Spring Training off to really focus on building up the proper stamina to snort the "mountain load of china" needed for a successful 2010 season.