In international news, following the recent trend that thousands of Facebook users have been following, "Wanted" terrorist Osama Bin-Laden too has changed his name to hide his online presence from potential CIA "friends." Bin-Laden's decision was due to the fact that he didn't want outsiders to uncover his location, recent activities, or even what his favorite movies are.

"Mr. Bin-Laden has been in ghost in the real world, but he did have a heavy presence online," said CIA agent, Tom Gladden. "Like just the other day, Bin-Laden posted, 'Hanging with some heads at a chill cafe near the Wakhan Corridor.' Of course by the time we got to the cafe, the entire waiter staff and patrons had been massacred. It was really disappointing. He also posted a picture of himself with two co-eds who were making out on top of some kegs. The picture appears to be at a college party around the Gaza Strip, but we're still unsure if the Taliban just Photoshopped him in. Regardless, little tip-offs like that are exactly what we need if we're ever going to capture him."

According to sources close to Bin-Laden, he has also decided to leave his post as an officer in the "If This Group Gets 1,000,000 Members, We Will Blow Up Israel" group.