In international news, the passive aggressive dictator of a small African nation has been leaving indirect and childish messages in the middle of a village instead of diplomatically confronting the soon-to-be murdered people about his feelings. While the people of this African village, which borders Togo, appear to be civil and even considerate citizens, the dictator has grown tired of very specific, and fixable characteristics that he has magnified to the point of creating unreasonable generalizations about their integrity--leaving enough motive for a village-wide massacre.

"For the past few decades, our leader has given the villagers many chances to understand his implicit and immature ways to illustrate his distaste for the people," said a spokesperson for the dictator. "For instance, in November, after the villagers celebrated their 48-hour Tree God holiday filled with song and dance, our leader built a loud speaker system and blasted AC/DC throughout the village for the next week, hoping that they would understand that 'non-practicing dictators need their sleep, okay!' Even last week, after sharing large quantities of animal meat with the people, our leader was hoping for some sort of appreciation. Granted, the meat was initially stolen from the villagers, but our leader felt it was an 'erroneous point' that was 'straying from the key issue at hand.'"

According to sources close to the dictator, he plans to intentionally leave his beard trimmings, litter the grounds with beer cans, and keep the community refrigerator slightly ajar before finally resorting to murdering off every last man, woman, and child.