In political news, mainstream Democrats are fearful that Elena Kagan’s tenure as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader during the early 1990’s might become a source of unrest at the upcoming Senate confirmation hearing. While Kagan’s other notable achievements have earned her a glowing review—even from politicians across the aisle—many conservative Republicans are fearful about the affect Kagan’s cheerleading years could have on prospective Supreme Court decisions.

“Supreme Court Justices aren’t just a bunch of pom-pom shaking and skimpy outfit wearing folks,” said former House Speaker Newt Gingrich. “Call me crazy, but I don’t think the American people want a person who took part of late-night jacuzzi parties at Michael Irvin’s house to be making decisions on ‘don’t ask, don’t tell!’”

According to sources, Kagan is hopeful that the hearing will focus more on her impressive work as the Dean of Harvard Law as opposed to her days of being “a cleavage showing bimbo.”