In health news, a new medical study shows that women who drink at least 2 glasses of wine per day are probably drunk. The study, which took place at a bar near the Mayo Clinic, sampled 20 women ranging in age from 18 to 65, and resulted in a pretty bomb-ass time.

“Granted, most similar studies have to do with how wine prevents cancer or whatever, but we just wanted to observe the tolerance levels of these fine female specimens,” said Dr. Igor Navarro, the lead doctor on the study. “Our results were astounding, I guess. Obviously the pre-college ladies felt they could keep up with the older ladies in the group, but let’s just say by their second glass, they were revealing a little bit more than what their favorite colors were.”

According to sources, the doctors have “literally no interest in performing the same study on dudes.”