In local news, an office bake sale for "Obesity Awareness" resulted in a very ironic form of education. The bake sale, which took place in offices of Bryant Technologies, was a huge success--selling over 250 pounds of baked goods to workers who hardly get up from their desks or exercise in their free time.

"I think this bake sale has really enlightened us about obesity," said Bob Horner, who personally purchased $80 worth of cupcakes for himself. "Granted, I knew America had a obesity problem, but it wasn't until I personally indulged in 28,000 calories of baked goods that I realized the scale of the issue. I'm just glad we were fortunate enough to have such an eye-opening bake sale."

According to sources, Bryant Technologies has canceled their upcoming "Office Safety Day" due to lack of dangerous machinery rental places in the area.